I'm a Good Mom... And So Are You

There I am newly minted mom,
 believing I was wise beyond my 23
years on the planet.

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I started out as Babywise mom, I don't know if it was Gary Ezzo's advice on scheduling a baby's feeding and sleeping that made me feel like I knew 
what I was doing as a first time mom, or my own self inflated ego, but I was a know it all. I could tell you just exactly how to solve your child raising issues, because of course all babies are the same and all toddler behavior is completely manageable. If I wasn't telling you how to parent to your face... I was probably telling someone else behind your back. I was wrong.

When baby number 2 came along I was still semi clinging to the Ezzo method, but I had also adopted a whatever works attitude. That baby slept in her swing for months, even though the book warned that she would never learn to fall asleep on her own if we did that. She did.

Fast forward five and a half years from the first baby's arrival. Baby number 3 is born into the Scott family and I have tossed Babywise out the window. I have become a co-sleeping, baby wearing, feeding on demand mama. By the time that child became a two year old I had no certainties about how to navigate this mommy gig and resorted to chocolate and lattes to get me through the day and wine and snacks to unwind once my offspring were tucked in and drifting off to dream land. (Actually who am I kidding? I cracked that bottle as soon as Craig came through the door, home from work to be the responsible adult).

Each of my little ones had a different mama, and even though I wouldn't go back to or recommend some of those past parenting styles, I would say in every phase I was a good mom. In fact I am pretty sure that any mother practicing these or a number of other of parenting strategies that include love, caring and meeting their children's needs are good moms.

Brene` Brown in her book Daring Greatly writes “You can't claim to care about children if you're shaming other parents for the choices they are making.”

Can I get an amen?!

 As a mom when I feel shamed and judged I am way less likely to be in prime nurturing mode with my children or my husband. Shame makes us more prone to isolation, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, bitterness and anger. Not a great place to be when your job is love and kindness.

Don't do that to somebody's kid. Chances are that unless you are witnessing abuse, that thing that other mom is doing, that you of course would never do, is probably not a make or break choice in their child's life.  You think your friend's kids watch too much T.V. Get over it. That other mom at the park who is feeding her preschooler a fast food lunch and is making you cringe at the unhealthiness of her choice. Get over it. I homeschool. Get over it. We don't do team sports. Get over it. We're all doing something that some other mom doesn't agree with. Get over it.

In a stage of our lives when we already worry about whether or not we are screwing up our kids we certainly don't need jack ass opinions about the decisions that go into our child raising efforts. A friendly word of encouragement or a compassionate ear can go a long way in making another parent's child raising load seem lighter. When we feel like we are doing a good job the little things that can be blown out of proportion are better able to stay in their box of “it's not a big deal.” and we can focus on the things that actually matter.

There's no use crying over spilled coffee right?

If you haven't already head over and enter The Hunt for a New Name contest.

What To Write to Your Sponsored Child's Mother.

I know it's only the end of February and Mother's Day seems very far away... but it's the perfect time to talk about what to write to your sponsored child's mother for Mother's Day.

Write about why you chose her child to sponsor

We chose our Compassion International children because they are each close in age to one of our three children and we hoped that would help our children to know what to write to their far away friends.

Tell her you love her child

Let her know that her child is precious to you.  That he or she is a part of your family.  That you are so happy to be their sponsor.  Tell her that you pray for her child often and that his or her picture is on your fridge (or where-ever you display it).

Be encouraging

Thank her for letting you be part of her child's life. Tell her that she is a good mama and she is providing wonderful opportunities for her child. 

Maybe include a poem, a quote or a scripture that relates to motherhood.

What are your ideas?  Are you sending your sponsored child's mother a letter for Mother's Day?

Linking up with Mary over at Giving Up on Perfect for Works for Me Wednesday.

We Did It! Coldest Night of The Year 2015!

Sweet toque selfie!

I must admit I feel a little guilty that our Coldest Night of the Year walk in Kamloops was like 7C and I read that Brampton Ontario was -18C.  I guess it's a perk of living in the balmy dessert?  I'm kicking myself for not getting a picture of our team, but I will vouch that they were there... Thank you for joining me Sarah, Wyatt, Corene, Dad, Shar and Meadow (and Julie L who was cheering us on from home with a sore foot).

Meadow Pre-walk sporting her touque

I am so proud of my Meadow girl!  She raised $85 and walked the whole 5km... refusing grandpa John's offers of shoulder rides the whole way.  When we got home she promptly had a hot bath and I rubbed her tired feet (she giggled and wiggled because she's so ticklish) and she went to sleep for 13+ hours.

Dad and Shar ready to go!

As a team we raised $555.00 for our local New Life Mission and the entire event brought in more that $40,000.00.  Kamloops is a generous place!

It was fantastic to see so many familiar faces in the crowd.  Neighbors and friends and folks I haven't seen in ages!
We're planning to have more people on our team next year so keep that in mind!

My brilliant niece Abby rocking out to the tunes.

Let's Talk About Our Privilege

On Tuesday my sweetie took me out on an amazing date to celebrate Valentine's Day. I felt like I was being wooed and wined (well gin and tonic-ed) and dined. We feasted on muscles and scallops.  Perfectly cooked steak and duck in cherry sauce. Decadent desserts finishing our meal.  We were stuffed and clearly content.  We left the restaurant and walked to the car.  The air outside was way to cold for the thin cardigan I was wearing. My steps were quick and I flew into my seat eager to turn on the seat warmer.

Craig and I talked back and forth.  Sometimes about shallow things, occasionally diving deeper into the pond of conversation topics. Then he said it... with bit of a chuckle and not intending to lay down any guilt he said "We spent more on that dinner than some people spend on food for a whole week."

There is was staring me in the face.  The struggle between being thankful for the incredible gifts I have been given and realizing the overwhelming privilege I have. It is a battle to stave off the shame of indulgence and find joy in the the extravagant when brothers and sisters around the world are trying to stretch their meager food stores to last just one more day.

Raspberry Brownie, Hazelnut Cheesecake and Creme Brulee

Because the truth is I loved that Craig loves me abundantly, showering affection and luxury on me for these extraordinary nights out.  I am thankful for the tiny table and the crunchy creme brulee topped with cinnamon and a raspberry (and the hazelnut cheese cake if we're being totally honest). I'm thankful for the efforts he made beforehand, making a reservation and choosing this lovely restaurant.

Yet mixed with that attitude of gratitude there is sadness for people who don't know those same gifts. Those who don't know where their next meal is coming from.

I'm not sure how to reconcile this privilege with the mandate to feed the hungry right now... Other than to give what I have in each opportunity placed on the path I'm walking and be very grateful for what I am given.

How do you reconcile your privilege with others lack? Is it possible to be both generous and indulgent?

Beautiful Things- Link Up

Beauty... it really is in the eye (or the ear) of the beholder.  This week in preparation for our Beautiful Things link up I have been especially mindful of finding beauty in my surroundings. From the full moon behind the clouds on a dark drive home... to the words of famous poets... Here are the things I think are beautiful.

Beautiful Sights:

The moon playing hide and seek behind the clouds

These three kiddos

Beautiful Words:

Beautiful Sounds:

Harry In Winter  Patrick Doyle

Stoick's Ship John Powell

What's on your list of beautiful things?  Link up or leave a comment below.

An InLinkz Link-up

4 Intentional Ways I am Loving on My Kids

It's Valentine's Day on Saturday so around here we are all about love this week. Yesterday I wrote about loving the world.  Today I'm going to shrink the circle a bit and talk about loving on my kids.

Books at the Table

Around the Scott house we have been making a few changes and setting some goals.  One of my goals is to read a story from The Jesus Storybook Bible to my children at the breakfast table... Not only am I spending focused time with them first thing in the day, but they are also hearing repeatedly about God's love for them.  And they are really quiet and eat without complaining which is a huge bonus for this mama who is not a natural rise and shiner.

She picked the BEST flavour... Chocolate cake.

Special Night

Our family has a tradition called "special night".  We just revamped how this works... it used to be that special nights were 3 days a week (1 for each kid) and the special kid that night got to stay up a little later, play on the iPad and sleep in mom and dad's room... This was good and all, but Craig and I felt like we weren't really connecting with our kids on these nights.  Plus having a kid in your bed 3 nights a week is a bit of a hindrance on mom and dad's special nights if you know what I mean ;)
Now special nights are once a week and Craig and I alternate taking a kid out on a date each Friday.  So last week I took just Meadow to Menchies and Next week Craig will take Hudson out somewhere and the week after that I will take Delaney on a date, then the following week Craig will take Meadow... and so on.  Alone time with each kiddo, because I want to be a mother who knows her children.

Happy Pills

We are a homeschool family and that sometimes means I become the coach around here barking at the players to just make it to the finish line.  "Get the work done!"  Not one of my finer roles.  So when I do notice one of my kiddos becoming frustrated  I quickly grab a jellybean from my stash and sneak it to that child.  We usually share a smile, and it reminds that overwhelmed student that we are on the same team and I am here to help. 

A little walk by herself

Small Freedoms

When my bigger kids become... shall we say a bit unruly, I send them for a walk to the top of our steep long driveway.  Hopefully this will reset their brains and bodies back to human behavior and away from baboon behavior.  Not too long ago Delaney, my 3 year old, told me she wanted to go for a little walk by herself.  So I let her.  To the top of the drive way and back,  She was elated!  

A lot of times we think it's the grand gestures and giant gifts that let our children know we love them... when in fact it's the little things done with intention that fill up their little hearts.

What intentional things are you doing to love on your kids?

4 Ways a Mom of Little Ones Can Love The World

It's Valentine's on Saturday so around here we are all about love this week.  I thought I would start big and give you some ideas for loving the world...

Sponsor a Child

We sponsor through Compassion International but there are other organizations doing great work out there as well. World Vision and Gospel for Asia are 2 others that come to mind.  Not only are you giving the resources for a child to be educated, you are also letting them know that someone cares.  Someone who lives far away is thinking of them and loves them. 

My children and I regularly send packages to our Compassion kids with drawings,photos, paper toys, letters and printable activities.  Writing letters makes a huge difference to a child.

This is my goat and you may not send her to Rawanda... but you can smile because
She's so cute!

Give a Goat

Really, like you didn't know this suggestion was coming right?! 

Maybe you're not in a place to be able to sponsor a child monthly right now and that's ok... but I'm wondering if you put a LOVE jar in your house and regularly filled it with pocket change, how long would it take to save up $79 to gift a goat to a family in Rawanda. Or maybe $35 to help single mothers in Ecuador start a rabbit business.  Gift that are truly a valuable hand up.

Find a Local Charity to Support

In a couple of weeks my girls and I will be walking with a team of friends and family in The Coldest Night of the Year.  It's cost me no money, just asking folks I know to donate and an evening walking downtown.  I am pumped to be walking with the people on my team and supporting our local New Life Mission. Incidentally if you would like to love the world through a donation to our team that would be super fantastic! Team Night Owls

Another way we work in the community is by volunteering at the Food Bank.  Not only does volunteering fill a need and get a job done... but you also get the opportunity to connect with the folks you're working with and create or deepen relationships.  

Pay Attention

Someone mentions that they are struggling... send them a note, let them know you are there and you care.  

Ever get that feeling you should call someone for no other reason than their name won't leave your brain?  Call them.

See a person asking you to fill their cup with spare change?  Yes drop in your coins but take a little extra time to connect.  Maybe introduce yourself. Hold out your hand and say " Hi my name is Sarah." Only insert your own name... unless your name is Sarah as well... which is entirely possible.

How about you?  In the midst of mommydom how are you finding ways to love others?

Beautiful Things

Fellow Earthlings... this week my Facebook news feed has been bombarded with sadness, hostility and fear. 
 From vaccination wars to the debates surrounding Canada's supreme court decision on physician assisted suicide, it has been an intense week and I must say some of us have not been exactly kind to the other human beings that we share the internet with.

Valentine's day is 7 sleeps away... in the spirit of love I will be hosting a link up on Thursday of beautiful things.  Write a poem, describe the flowers in your grandma's garden, take your camera and post your beautiful photos... be creative, show the world what you think it beautiful, then come here and link up.

How to Make a Blogger's Day

The first rule of blogging?  Don't blog about blogging.  Rebel alert!

We bloggers are a curious sort.  We write about deeply personal, vulnerable things one day... and the next we give you tips on maintaining the habit of flossing your teeth.  Well maybe that's just my blog.

Really no matter what we write about, we have one innate desire... we want someone to read what we've written!

Here's how to make a blogger's day:

Comment

I LOVE COMMENTS!  I want to know that you were here... I want to interact with you.  I want to know my words are not just floating around out there in cyberspace.  Lost and lonely and calling out to be rescued...  Reading a comment on my blog is like chocolate and wine for my bloggy soul.

Share 

It's a rule you learned way back when you were 3... share.  If you like what you read... share.  There are some cute little buttons at the bottom of each of my posts so you can easily get the word out on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest ... etc. Go ahead and share the love!

Start a conversation

Send me a tweet asking a question. I'll respond I promise.  Post a respectful thought or two on my Facebook page and ask for opinions...  I'm confident they'll roll in.
  

Encouragement

So many of you have let me know that enjoy my rambling writing around here and it lifts my spirits and pushes me forward.  Thank you for your kind supportive words...

Send chocolate

Or make me dinner... or coffee... or... Well hey a girl can try right?  

Bloggy friends chime in here!  What would make your day?

What's Saving My Life Right Now...

Life is a tricky thing... the actual act of being alive seems simple enough to most... inhale, exhale, repeat... but some would argue, that's not really living, it's only surviving.  

There are thousands of little ways my life is being saved I'm sure.  Not the kind of saved that merely prevents me from dying... but fills me with breath and life and love and the will to put one foot in front of the other and take the next step.  I have taken note of just 6 below.

The Upstream Field Guide

 It has been exhilarating to discover why I do the things I do, write about my best day and dissect it to figure out the important themes. Focusing on me with a learning mindset has been the ultimate "me time" adventure.  I normally don't pay for online courses but this one has been so worth it.

Copious amounts of tea. 

 I am becoming a tea lover and honestly I may be a bit of an addict.  On these chilly winter days my mug is nearly always full of tea (in varying temperatures depending on how often my sipping is interrupted).

Skiing

Sometimes I get to ski all by myself... only the sound of swishing movements... I get to focus on my muscles making the turns... feel the breeze on my face... embrace the clean, fresh smell of snow and trees.  This is energizing.

Noisecancelling Headphones

Too much noise pretty much makes me crazy.  By late afternoon my tolerance for silly sounds and piano practice and knock knock jokes that don't make sense, comes to an abrupt halt.  Luckily my husband... who is a fantastic gift giver... gave me noise cancelling headphones for Christmas.  They are not just saving my life right now if you catch my drift.  I can plunk them on my head and listen to a favorite podcast or music.

Sleep

I am generally in bed by 10pm and hopefully that gives me enough sleep to be the best mom I can be in the morning. 

Community

I just love that I am doing The Upstream Field Guide along side one friend and working through The Grief Recovery Handbook with another friend.  I love that I have entire evenings of deep connecting conversations.  I am so grateful for my people.  

What's saving your life right now? I'm linking up with Anne over at Modern Mrs. Darcy where a bunch of us are sharing things that are giving us life not draining it. 

Dear People In Line Ahead of Me...

We were both in line last week to buy tickets for a movie... the line wound out into the street and while we were out there... where it was cold and snowy... a woman came walking along and asked for some spare change.  You seemed quite oblivious to the situation... until I handed the woman a loonie.

That's when I heard the tone of your conversation change.  Your voices got lower and your eyes quickly glanced back and forth between me and the person you were whispering to... now not that I meant to eavesdrop, but really I was right behind you and could hear what you were saying... phrases like:
"You should never give them money."
"I gave them some fries once at the restaurant I worked at.  They just kept coming back for more."

This made my heart hurt...

I obviously don't have the solution to remedy the plight of hungry, hurting people.  I'm not here to debate whether you should give a panhandler the change in your pocket or have a stack of Tim Cards ready for such a situation.  Really that's up to the individual giver.

What hurt me was the way you talked about fellow human beings, you talked about helping street people like it was a "don't feed the bears" situation at a national park.  "Don't feed those people... they'll be hungry again tomorrow and come back for more.  They'll become nuisance humans and we'll have to try relocating them."

I want to gently point out some things you might not have considered:

You probably knew where you were going to sleep that night, and every night.  I'm betting it's a nice warm safe place.  That woman probably didn't have such a luxury.

Since you were standing in a line to pay $9.00 for a movie ticket, I can only assume you were not worried where your next meal was coming from. She might be worried about that very thing.

It's cold outside.  And I might be a bit naive but I hope that dollar was used to pay for a cup of coffee... or maybe another generous person gave her a toonie down the way and she was able to buy some soup or chili and warm up a little.

Human beings are our tribe... they are our people... and if we don't help them out when the opportunity presents itself... who will?  Certainly not the bears.

Sincerely and Kindly


photo credit: final gather via photopin cc

Happy Birthday Grandma Frank!

Dear World,
You really must meet my Grandma Frank.  There she is!  Pretty right?  
Well world today is her birthday, so now that you know what she looks like be sure to wish her a happy birthday when you see her.  

Be warned though she isn't your typical grandma... Oh sure she crochets blankets every once in a while.  And she makes some darn good cabbage rolls... I believe bacon and love are her secret ingredients.  Yes those two things are typical Grandma activities...

But she's also a bit cheeky... sometimes the things that come out of her mouth will shock you, before you notice the twinkle in her eye and you both start to giggle.

Grandma Frank also has no trouble lending you her glasses so you can get a better look at the buns on a cyclist as you drive past him on the highway.

She doesn't seem to realize her actual age.  My kids and grandma spent plenty of time on the trampoline together last summer.  Some have even reported seeing her crawling around on the lawn with her great grand children!

So world be extra kind to my dear sweet Grandma.  She's one heck of a lady and today she's a wee bit older.

Love you Grandma!  Happy Birthday!

Coldest Night Of The Year 2015

I often feel limited in how to serve those who are homeless or hungry... and I believe a lot of mommies with small kids feel this way as well.  
With young offspring in tow I can manage eye contact and a smile at a man huddled by the library doors.  Sometimes I can offer the change in my pocket if I can organize my little people not to run into traffic.  On occasion, when I am out and about kidless, I have been known to hand out hot chocolates with my friends.  

So I'm doing what I can... but am I doing all I can?  Probably not... and I hope to grow in this area to live up to more of my potential.

One way I'm doing this is by walking in The Coldest Night of The Year on February 21, 2015.  I have 2 feet, a pair of boots, and warm clothes to wear... I am fully capable of walking with a group of people to raise money for our local New Life Mission.

I took a tour of the New Life Mission last fall and was very impressed by the variety of ways they are able to give a hand up.  There is a health clinic and  dentist office.  They have their own catering company, a room for refurbishing computers and a safe place for people to come in out of the cold.  Just to name some of their services.  It is a place worth supporting.

How You Can Help

Be a part of the walk... You are welcome to join my team Night Owls and walk alongside my dad, my friends Sarah and Corene  and I.  Or join a team in your community if we're far away friends. 

You can sponsor us. You've heard the cliche... Every little bit helps! It's true!  Please donate what you can to help those less fortunate.  

Pray.  Pray that we have good attitudes walking in the cold, pray that the money we raise is spent with wisdom, pray for those who are cold and hungry to be warm and fed. 

  

5 Ways to Not be the Village Idiot...

Developing community is vulnerable business... I mean first you have to admit to yourself that you need people to support you in this mothering gig... and then be intentional about pursuing relationships with like minded people who you think might want to have a mutually beneficial friendship with you.  

"It takes a village to raise a child" as the saying goes... but I would like to coin the phrase "It takes a village to keep a mama going."

I have moved towns twice.  Once away from my family and then back home 8 years later.  I have here friends and there friends and each one plays a special role in my mommy experience.

 Here are my tips for being a good villager, you know, how not to be the village idiot.

Don't Judge 

I may have 3 kids and I have been a mom for 9 years now, but I am NOT an expert... and no offence but neither are you... 

We all have our moments of not so wonderful, like a week ago when we were stuck in town due to heavy snow and staying with some friends.  On the second night of the spontaneous sleep over we kinda realized that none of my kids had changed their underwear... not my proudest moment but the other mom and I kind of cringed and then shrugged it off.  No judgement... 

Don't Offer Advice

Unless you are asked for advice.  Maybe that thing that would drive you nuts if it was your kid, isn't even on that other mom's radar.  So hold your tongue mama... 

Take Advice

If you ask for it then you gotta take it.  It is super annoying to be asked for input on a situation only to be told 30 seconds later why your strategy won't work.  You don't have to implement the advice given but at least appreciate the help you asked for and consider it. 

No Drama Mama

So I haven't called you in a month... call me.  Maybe there's something going on and I could really use an ear... or just maybe I am exhausted from being a full time homeschool mom of 3.  (Just sayin').  This is probably one of those things where it's truly not you it's me.

To Each Her Own

Respect other family's cultures.  We aren't really sports fans around here... but I know families who are really excited to watch whatever big game is on T.V., together, and that's fantastic!  We head to the ski hill as often as possible and other folks like to stay where it's warm and read a book instead (I must admit both sound divine to me).  It all works out and one family is not making a better choice than the other... just a different one.

We are all in this together... doing the best we know how.

What would you add?  What do you appreciate about your village?  

When Gentle Discipline Doesn't Come Naturally

Gentle Discipline is not my gut reaction as a mother...It's definitely my desire... but it doesn't come naturally.  It takes very intentional thought and action to do things like snuggle a small child who has lost control of her emotions or sooth the conscience of an 8 year old who has made a genuine mistake.

In fact there are many times when I have had to rewind the situations and start over again.  I have to fight against motherly pride... you know that inner voice that says "Shut up because I said so and you're driving me nuts and my comfort is WAY more important than yours!!" and become humble. It is humility that allows me to soften my voice, puts kindness in my eyes and allows me to be the mama I want to be.

I am so glad that my children are open to second chances, since calm and collected (maybe sanity is the word I'm looking for) are not my native tongue.  They readily accept my apologies and hugs and snuggles.  We breath deeply together and sooth one another.

On those occasions when I do get it right the first time (and thankfully they are becoming more and more frequent), I make sure to take note of it.  Mentally high fiving myself or writing it down as a gift in my gratitude journal.

We are not perfect Mamas, we are hard workers, we push past our burdens to love, we fail but our success is not measured in failure.  Our success is measured in how many times we get up, splash a little water on our faces, gulp back another cuppa and share our hearts with our kiddos.

Over the next little while, from time to time,
I will be sharing the ways I am improving my parenting .  I welcome your comments, tips and advice,  We are a village (and there are no idiots in my village).

1 Way I'm Being a Kinder Mama...

I don't know about you, but I am not always a kind mama... I sometimes take my children's behavior quite personally.  Which causes some... dare I say... Mommy tantrums?  The truth is however... that the intention behind my 3 year old's crying/yelling no at the top of her lungs episodes is not to make me rock back and forth in a corner chanting this too shall pass.  It's just her working out her frustrations in her own little immature (shrieking, eardrum splitting) way. 

I've been working on changing my reactions to my children's sometimes less than lovely behavior. (Really they are mostly wonderful little people that I enjoy very much.)  I stumbled upon a little mommy gem that seems to be working well right now for taming those tantrums... both mine and hers.

Filling them up with love...

It started on Christmas Day... in the middle of present opening chaos... after a significantly late night... Delaney was melting.  Because of all the noise and commotion I don't even know what triggered her meltdown.  I had one of those mama moments of genius.  I scooped up my little girl and whisked her away to an empty bedroom.  There in the calm and quiet I whispered in her ears how much I love her: " I love you to the moon and back. I love you a bushel and a peck. I love you soo much." Then I whispered it to her fingers and toes and she giggled. We snuggled and she rubbed my cheeks and said "I just wuv you so much Mama."  A Hallmark moment if I may say so.  Crisis averted we returned to the main event and she knew that I was on her side in all this turmoil.

 I've been doing this for the last little while when I spy a meltdown brewing and it has not failed yet.

Possible reasons why this works...

Hugging reduces stress:

The act of embracing floods our bodies with oxytocin, a "bonding hormone" that makes people feel secure and trusting toward each other, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces stress. CNN.com

Yelling doesn't work it just makes things worse. The Orange Rhino

Getting upset alongside my child or at my child is not helpful.  It just causes a viscous cycle of hurt, anger and fear, for both of us.  Quiet, gentle words and whispers peppered with deep breaths( mostly mine) Are calming and end the tantrum faster. 

Do unto others...
When I think about how I want the people in my life (who love me) to treat me when I am having an emotional breakdown it doesn't involve the words "That's enough" or "Stop crying".  I long be treated gently and to be taken care of.  I want to be told kind things, comforted and loved.  And if I in all of my adult wisdom can pinpoint that only a jerk would tell me to hurry up and get over it... I better not be exampling jerk behavior for my little ones.

Disclaimer: 

I am not so naive to suggest that I have superior parenting methods to anyone else or that my ways will work for every kid.  (Heck in a week it may no longer work for my kid).  I just wanted to share what's working for us right now in hopes that those who need it will find it. 

Linking up with: