Saturday, October 20, 2012
Apology to My Firstborn
Sweet sensitive loving Hudson,
I have made mistakes in my role as your mother and I hope the damage is not irrepairable...for these things I am so sorry.
I'm sorry that I made you cry yourself to sleep at 8 weeks in your own crib... I wish I would have snuggled close with you in my bed like I did with your baby sister.
I'm sorry for forcefully making you talk to adults when they talked to you... I promise I have learned better techniques for teaching social behavior.
I'm sorry I let my fear of you sinning cause me to be irrational at times... I know now that you will make poor choices and it will not mean that satan has taken over your life... It will mean you are a journeying human... Just like the rest of us.
I'm sorry that I didn't play with you more... I'm trying to make up for it now.
I want you to know that I am on your side... It is my goal to foster closeness in our relationship... I don't want you to fear me.
Thank you for being a fantastic big brother, thank you for being a cooperative student, thank you for loving me inspite of my failures.
You are nothing short of amazing.
I love you to the moon.
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