Beautiful Things- Link Up

Beauty... it really is in the eye (or the ear) of the beholder.  This week in preparation for our Beautiful Things link up I have been especially mindful of finding beauty in my surroundings. From the full moon behind the clouds on a dark drive home... to the words of famous poets... Here are the things I think are beautiful.

Beautiful Sights:

The moon playing hide and seek behind the clouds

These three kiddos

Beautiful Words:

Beautiful Sounds:

Harry In Winter  Patrick Doyle

Stoick's Ship John Powell

What's on your list of beautiful things?  Link up or leave a comment below.

An InLinkz Link-up

Beautiful Things

Fellow Earthlings... this week my Facebook news feed has been bombarded with sadness, hostility and fear. 
 From vaccination wars to the debates surrounding Canada's supreme court decision on physician assisted suicide, it has been an intense week and I must say some of us have not been exactly kind to the other human beings that we share the internet with.

Valentine's day is 7 sleeps away... in the spirit of love I will be hosting a link up on Thursday of beautiful things.  Write a poem, describe the flowers in your grandma's garden, take your camera and post your beautiful photos... be creative, show the world what you think it beautiful, then come here and link up.

Dear People In Line Ahead of Me...

We were both in line last week to buy tickets for a movie... the line wound out into the street and while we were out there... where it was cold and snowy... a woman came walking along and asked for some spare change.  You seemed quite oblivious to the situation... until I handed the woman a loonie.

That's when I heard the tone of your conversation change.  Your voices got lower and your eyes quickly glanced back and forth between me and the person you were whispering to... now not that I meant to eavesdrop, but really I was right behind you and could hear what you were saying... phrases like:
"You should never give them money."
"I gave them some fries once at the restaurant I worked at.  They just kept coming back for more."

This made my heart hurt...

I obviously don't have the solution to remedy the plight of hungry, hurting people.  I'm not here to debate whether you should give a panhandler the change in your pocket or have a stack of Tim Cards ready for such a situation.  Really that's up to the individual giver.

What hurt me was the way you talked about fellow human beings, you talked about helping street people like it was a "don't feed the bears" situation at a national park.  "Don't feed those people... they'll be hungry again tomorrow and come back for more.  They'll become nuisance humans and we'll have to try relocating them."

I want to gently point out some things you might not have considered:

You probably knew where you were going to sleep that night, and every night.  I'm betting it's a nice warm safe place.  That woman probably didn't have such a luxury.

Since you were standing in a line to pay $9.00 for a movie ticket, I can only assume you were not worried where your next meal was coming from. She might be worried about that very thing.

It's cold outside.  And I might be a bit naive but I hope that dollar was used to pay for a cup of coffee... or maybe another generous person gave her a toonie down the way and she was able to buy some soup or chili and warm up a little.

Human beings are our tribe... they are our people... and if we don't help them out when the opportunity presents itself... who will?  Certainly not the bears.

Sincerely and Kindly


photo credit: final gather via photopin cc

1 Way I'm Being a Kinder Mama...

I don't know about you, but I am not always a kind mama... I sometimes take my children's behavior quite personally.  Which causes some... dare I say... Mommy tantrums?  The truth is however... that the intention behind my 3 year old's crying/yelling no at the top of her lungs episodes is not to make me rock back and forth in a corner chanting this too shall pass.  It's just her working out her frustrations in her own little immature (shrieking, eardrum splitting) way. 

I've been working on changing my reactions to my children's sometimes less than lovely behavior. (Really they are mostly wonderful little people that I enjoy very much.)  I stumbled upon a little mommy gem that seems to be working well right now for taming those tantrums... both mine and hers.

Filling them up with love...

It started on Christmas Day... in the middle of present opening chaos... after a significantly late night... Delaney was melting.  Because of all the noise and commotion I don't even know what triggered her meltdown.  I had one of those mama moments of genius.  I scooped up my little girl and whisked her away to an empty bedroom.  There in the calm and quiet I whispered in her ears how much I love her: " I love you to the moon and back. I love you a bushel and a peck. I love you soo much." Then I whispered it to her fingers and toes and she giggled. We snuggled and she rubbed my cheeks and said "I just wuv you so much Mama."  A Hallmark moment if I may say so.  Crisis averted we returned to the main event and she knew that I was on her side in all this turmoil.

 I've been doing this for the last little while when I spy a meltdown brewing and it has not failed yet.

Possible reasons why this works...

Hugging reduces stress:

The act of embracing floods our bodies with oxytocin, a "bonding hormone" that makes people feel secure and trusting toward each other, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces stress. CNN.com

Yelling doesn't work it just makes things worse. The Orange Rhino

Getting upset alongside my child or at my child is not helpful.  It just causes a viscous cycle of hurt, anger and fear, for both of us.  Quiet, gentle words and whispers peppered with deep breaths( mostly mine) Are calming and end the tantrum faster. 

Do unto others...
When I think about how I want the people in my life (who love me) to treat me when I am having an emotional breakdown it doesn't involve the words "That's enough" or "Stop crying".  I long be treated gently and to be taken care of.  I want to be told kind things, comforted and loved.  And if I in all of my adult wisdom can pinpoint that only a jerk would tell me to hurry up and get over it... I better not be exampling jerk behavior for my little ones.

Disclaimer: 

I am not so naive to suggest that I have superior parenting methods to anyone else or that my ways will work for every kid.  (Heck in a week it may no longer work for my kid).  I just wanted to share what's working for us right now in hopes that those who need it will find it. 

Linking up with: