Friday, January 16, 2015

5 Ways to Not be the Village Idiot...

Developing community is vulnerable business... I mean first you have to admit to yourself that you need people to support you in this mothering gig... and then be intentional about pursuing relationships with like minded people who you think might want to have a mutually beneficial friendship with you.  

"It takes a village to raise a child" as the saying goes... but I would like to coin the phrase "It takes a village to keep a mama going."

I have moved towns twice.  Once away from my family and then back home 8 years later.  I have here friends and there friends and each one plays a special role in my mommy experience.

 Here are my tips for being a good villager, you know, how not to be the village idiot.

Don't Judge 

I may have 3 kids and I have been a mom for 9 years now, but I am NOT an expert... and no offence but neither are you... 
We all have our moments of not so wonderful, like a week ago when we were stuck in town due to heavy snow and staying with some friends.  On the second night of the spontaneous sleep over we kinda realized that none of my kids had changed their underwear... not my proudest moment but the other mom and I kind of cringed and then shrugged it off.  No judgement... 

Don't Offer Advice

Unless you are asked for advice.  Maybe that thing that would drive you nuts if it was your kid, isn't even on that other mom's radar.  So hold your tongue mama... 

Take Advice

If you ask for it then you gotta take it.  It is super annoying to be asked for input on a situation only to be told 30 seconds later why your strategy won't work.  You don't have to implement the advice given but at least appreciate the help you asked for and consider it. 

No Drama Mama

So I haven't called you in a month... call me.  Maybe there's something going on and I could really use an ear... or just maybe I am exhausted from being a full time homeschool mom of 3.  (Just sayin').  This is probably one of those things where it's truly not you it's me.

To Each Her Own

Respect other family's cultures.  We aren't really sports fans around here... but I know families who are really excited to watch whatever big game is on T.V., together, and that's fantastic!  We head to the ski hill as often as possible and other folks like to stay where it's warm and read a book instead (I must admit both sound divine to me).  It all works out and one family is not making a better choice than the other... just a different one.

We are all in this together... doing the best we know how.

What would you add?  What do you appreciate about your village?  


  1. This is some great reading right here! LOL! I love this post Sarah and I am so grateful that you chose to speak your heart!

  2. I so appreciate the wonderful community that surrounds me. Mostly Mom's I met when our children started kindergarten 4 (4??!!! already????) years ago. We don't all have the same parenting ideals, but we all support each other and do our best not to judge decisions. Like friends should. awesome post!

  3. I agree with all the things!! I have unwanted advice, if I want I'll ask.

  4. What a great post! I agree with all of them, especially the no drama thing. You never know what's going on with other people until you ask. I might add play nice in there too. ;)